Spiritual Wellness

I joined the entire world in swooning over Will & Kate’s royal wedding.  I was stuck by the stunning hats and spectacular gown.  But, I really did a double-take at the unexpectedly sexy sermon!

The Bishop of London bellowed out, “Be who God meant you to be and you will set the world on fire!” The rigid pomp and stance of the day came to a screeching halt.  Fire?! Did the Bishop really just evoke this passionate image? The sermon then unfolded into the truest and most deeply spiritual understanding of marriage.  If you find spirituality sexy, as I do, then this sermon consummated the day’s romance.  Let’s delve into the highlights.

“’Be who God meant you to be and you will set the world on fire.’ So said St Catherine of Siena whose festival day it is today. Marriage is intended to be a way in which man and woman help each other to become what God meant each one to be, their deepest and truest selves.”

What is the purpose of marriage?  People generally think the purpose is to have children, live in sexual purity before God or to find happiness.  The Bishop sets the record straight from the beginning.  Rather, the purpose of marriage is to become the person you are destined to be.  Marriage is a means that God uses to achieve this end.  In unity with our spouse, we learn unconditional love, self sacrifice and other qualities that exemplify Christ’s character and nature.  As His character is nurtured in us, we become the people we are meant to be.  The result is passion.  We are passionate about our calling, our service to others and our zeal for life.  There is nothing sexier than a person who is fulfilled and content in their life’s purpose.

The Bishop continues to explain how marriage helps us to become who God meant for us to be:

“A spiritual life grows as love finds its centre beyond ourselves . . . the more we go beyond ourselves in love, the more we become our true selves and our spiritual beauty is more fully revealed.”

Humanism attempts to find contentment in self, and serving others as a means of satisfying one’s moral duty.  However, true spirituality is the result of living beyond our own ability.  We find our center, not in self, but in God.  God loves through us.  Marriage is the ultimate opportunity to learn selflessness and to depend upon God.  Thus, the beauty of God in us is more fully revealed first to our spouse, and then to the world.  However, this selfless type of love won’t be easy:

“it is necessary a solemn decision that, whatever the difficulties, we are committed to the way of generous love.”

My grandparents have been married for 60 years.  In admiration, I asked for any advice they might give to me.  They told me, “divorce was never an option.  We just didn’t even think about finding a way out.”  That is the type of solemn commitment that is intended for marriage.  Instead, “as the reality of God has faded from so many lives in the West,” we have allowed personal gratification to get in the way of ‘generous love.” Marriage vows that God’s love will transcend all difficulty.

The Bishop then continued with my favorite part of the sermon.  I LOVE this!

“Marriage should transform, as husband and wife make one another their work of art. It is possible to transform as long as we do not harbour ambitions to reform our partner. There must be no coercion if the Spirit is to flow; each must give the other space and freedom. Chaucer, the London poet, sums it up in a pithy phrase: ‘Whan maistrie [mastery] comth, the God of Love anon, Beteth his wynges, and farewell, he is gon.’

As the reality of God has faded from so many lives in the West, there has been a corresponding inflation of expectations that personal relations alone will supply meaning and happiness in life. This is to load our partner with too great a burden. We are all incomplete.”

Husbands, make your wife your work of art.  Wives, make your husband your work of art. What incredible imagery!  Through our love, our beloved is beautified.  However, do so without any ambition of changing who they are.  Don’t try to fix them!  Instead, create space in the marriage for God’s presence to flow.  As God’s presence flows, each individual in the marriage finds happiness and meaning in life.  This is a burden that belongs to God.  If we exalt our expectations over God’s presence, we are met with emptiness and void.  Our deepest longing is for God.  It can only be satisfied in Him.  He alone is complete.

“As we move towards our partner in love, following the example of Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit is quickened within us and can increasingly fill our lives with light.”

As we love our spouse with God’s selfless love, we empower eachother to become the people God has destined us to be.  God’s spirit flows freely through us, and our lives are transformed by His abiding light.

At the heart of this sermon is the profound truth of marriage:  Become who you are destined to be through God’s abiding love.  It’s a message powerful and full of passion!

Plus, did you see those hats!

 

marriage, passion, purpose, royal, wedding