The “Must Do” College Checklist

Posted on 07. Sep, 2010 by Angie Wyatt in Blog

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How do you make the most out of college?

College is a time for self-discovery and preparing for your future. Yes, its about making the grade. But, there’s so much more to this season than finding the right major. For many, it’s the first time out of your parent’s home. And yet, you’re not completely on your own. You’re exposed to new people and new ideas. Your path becomes a blank canvas. It’s exciting! I think everyone instinctively knows that college is about self-discovery. But, too many people ruin the opportunity – they don’t make the most out of college.

After a decade of helping college students with both leadership development and counseling, I gathered some great tips on how to make the most of college. Here’s my “Spiritual Wellness College Checklist” (in no particular order):

DATE … BUT NOT TOO SERIOUSLY. Remember, college is about self-discovery. If you date to marry while you’re still figuring yourself out… it will lead to disaster. Instead, date because you want to learn how to be your true self in a dating relationship. Being your true self includes learning to prioritize your relationship with God while dating. It’s for trial-and-error, and for establishing your personal boundaries and … for fun. These are relationship skills that you need to learn now. Save the serious dating for your late 20s. By then, you’ll know who you are and you can make a smart choice for marriage. Time = Seriousness. So, I recommend putting a 6-8 month cap on any non-serious relationship.
TRAVEL ABROAD … ON SOMEONE ELSE’S DIME. College is one of the only times you can convince others to finance your travels. Take advantage of it! Here’s the key: You’ve got to do something worthwhile! We the people who have gone before you aren’t naïve enough to think you’ll change the world after a month in Rwanda. To get us to fork out the cash, you only have to convince us that the trip will make you a better person. There’s lots of great organizations out there that will help you get started. I recommend YWAM.
FRIENDS, FRIENDS, AND THEN FAMILY. Don’t feel badly about diving into your friendships. Your family will feel a bit betrayed and abandoned. But, friends are really important at this time of life. Here’s why… you need to identify who you are apart from your family. This is the time to learn how you’re different and what you really like. So, you also need to choose your friends wisely. Just be sure to remember that at the end of the day, your family (if they’re somewhat healthy and normal, that is) are the ones who are there for you … always. So, call home and tell mom that you love her.
CONFRONT YOUR CHILDHOOD DEMONS. I know you’re working and studying and camping with friends on the weekend… so, it might feel overwhelming to work on your inner life… but, you must! Here why… suicide, eating disorders and depression is highest in your age bracket. Plus, when you graduate college you’ll have a heap of responsibilities, pressures and disappointments. To deal with those pressures, you’ll need inner strength. So, now is the time to prioritize inner healing. Check with your school because lots of colleges have free counseling for students. If your not living at home… bonus! This is a huge asset for those whose inner wounds are related to poor parenting. For more, see How to Find a Counselor.
MAKE FAITH MATTER: Find ways to intensify your spiritual life. Go to worship and prayer gatherings with other college students. They happen in every major city, and they are super cool! Prayer is like filling a gas tank. While its getting full, you can’t see your fuel meter rise. It still looks empty. But, when you put your car in ‘go’ you’ll see the tank is full. Fill your tank while your in college, and you’ll see the results after graduation … trust me on this one… its true.

What would you add to the college checklist?

college, dating, friends, hearing God, Spiritual Wellness, travel

6 Responses to “The “Must Do” College Checklist”

Back to College? | Spiritual Wellness

07. Sep, 2010

[...] more helpful information on this topic, see the Spiritual Wellness blog Your College “Must Do” Checklist. College is all about self-discovery and friendships. Remember to journal, find a counselor, [...]
Tina

10. Sep, 2010

This list is right on! I am going to pass this on to every college student I know.
Kaitlin

19. Oct, 2010

your advice to date for fun is so harmful! you say to not date seriously in college and that it’s just trial and error…for fun…how hurtful if the other individual is really interested in you and your goal is to just have fun? The goal of dating is to find the person that God has in store for you to marry…NOT to fool around and have fun. We learn those communication and relational skills in relationships that last, not in meaningless dating relationships that are “just for fun”. How harmful this advice is for young girls who take this and decide to date many men during college only to regret their decisions once they actually find the man they want to marry. “oh yay, I dated all of those men just for fun and to see what dating is like” ANY relationships you get involved in should be because you want to love the other person and not be self seeking. God calls us to love others more than ourselves…your kind of perspective on dating is completely self centered.
Angie Wyatt

19. Oct, 2010

Hi Kaitlin, Thanks for sharing your views. By fun, I do not mean irresponsible or without regard for another person’s feelings. You can have fun & still care for another person. Plus, people should be open about their intentions when dating. But, I do think that too many people focus on marriage too early. I think my perspective is anything but self-centered. As we learn our individual boundaries and values for relationships, we have more to offer our future spouse. It’s like mother… is a mother selfish for pursuing her own goals? Never. By valuing her personal growth, she models life skills for her children. Marriage is a life skill. Dating responsibly at an appropriate age teaches us these skills. Again, thanks for sharing your view. I still disagree.
Kaitlin

20. Oct, 2010

Angie, I agree that it’s not wrong to pursue your own goals. God has given us all a desire and calling to be the person He wants for us to be…to pursue the “plans for prosperity and not for harm…for hope and a future”. I just personally feel that dating a lot in college can take a real emotion toll on girls that isn’t needed – especially during a time that they should be focusing on who God wants them to be. Yes, that involves relationally as well but God will bring that person along! Just as you have discovered in your own life with Mr. Wyatt seeing you and saying he was going to marry you before he even met you. I think it is healthy to have boundaries and values in place before you get to college – to have Biblical standards already determined. Think back to Biblical times…did they have periods of dating before marriage? If God has a plan for two people to be together, they will grow and discover more about each other and their selves through dating with the intent of marriage. Again, I’m not saying that dating is wrong, just that it needs to be more responsible then just to have fun and learn by trial and error. It’s not wrong to focus on marriage too early…that’s not a standard displayed in the Bible. If anything, thinking about serious relationships in early 20s causes us to be less selfish and think more about the other person we love! Love is not self seeking!
A Map of September | Spiritual Wellness

26. Oct, 2010

[...] If you’re in college, be sure to catch the video Back to College? Then, start marking off your “College Checklist.” It’s like a bucket list for college students because college doesn’t last forever! My favorite [...]