Attention College Graduates! It Sucks, Right?
Posted on 11. Oct, 2010 by Angie Wyatt in Blog
Loading ...Attention college graduates! It sucks, right?
To my surprise, one of the most difficult times of my life occurred shortly after my college graduation. Real life was nothing like what I expected. I had to weather some big storms, and truly just figure out who I am … the real me… my true self. It was messy, confusing, heart wrenching and blah. Since then, I’ve seen tons of friends go through the same yucky turmoil. I’m beginning to think it’s just a universal path in our Critical Journey.
My friend Trey was arguably the MVP of his graduating class. News flash … graduation even sucks for the popular kids. Here’s how he described it:
You’re going from a place where, just by the size of the place, you’re a relatively big fish in a very small pond no matter what you’re doing. You’re 1 of say 3000 folks so you are a relatively significant unit just by the math. On top of that most of the people with influence over or inside of that pond have your best interest as their principal focus and some of those even know you personally. Then you graduate and you get scooped out of your little pond and dumped into the ocean where you are literally the smallest fish in the sea and 1 of 6 billion other fish. On top of that almost NO ONE of influence in that pond knows who the crap you are, much less cares about making the currents swing your way. Oh and they don’t care about that A+ Hamster Toilet business idea you did for senior paper. So don’t bother touting it around.
(insert awesome Facebook profile pic without Trey’s permission)
Thanks, Trey. That pretty much sums it up. But, don’t worry, y’all. It gets better. MUCH better!
In the meantime, it’s super confusing – particularly for those of us who know how to hear God, and are trying to follow His plan for our lives. Why? Because a defining part of this season is that we stop experiencing God in all the ways that are familiar. Instead, it feels like we can no longer hear or experience God. It’s terrifyingly lonely to think you know God, and then suddenly feel that He is quite distant and uninvolved in your life.
The season I’m describing is often called the Dark Night of Soul. From graduating college to experience grief and loss, we’ll face many dark seasons throughout our lives. In these times, we must trust God and surrender to His sovereign plan.
Fortunately, in my Dark Night of the Soul, I had a God-send. He sent me a book called The Critical Journey by author Janet Hagberg. This book kept me sane and gave me hope. Finally, I understood why I was going through such a hard time. Finally, I knew how to trust God in the midst of my circumstances. Finally, I had hope that I would grow with God into a brighter future.
Since that time, I’ve given away dozens of copies of the book to friends and people I counsel. To purchase a copy of the book, click here. This week, at spiritualwellness.com, you can win an autographed copy of The Critical Journey. To learn how, visit my blog on Wed, Oct 13th & catch a guest post by Janet Hagberg.
How did you find comfort in a difficult time? Can you offer empathy & hope to our readers?
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5 Responses to “Attention College Graduates! It Sucks, Right?”
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Jan-Michael
11. Oct, 2010
I have been fortunate in my carreer life. I worked only 3 jobs from graduation over 32 years….but in each job, I had a change (promotion) that I “sold” my boss on, every few years.
I sold it, by asking for new more challenging responsibilities, without asking for a raise. And, when I had proved how I was willing and able to assume the resposibilities, the raise or car or extended vacation leave came as a bonus, exceeding what I might have been offered at the beginning of the new responsibilities.
So, I guess believing you can do more and trusting that the boss will be honest and remunerate you after, is my belief in a good way to succeed. And, by not being paid up-front, there was less pressure on me, someone had to oversee my results and by having to see my work, it allowed them to put me forward in the business until I became Senior VP of marketing for one of the largest Insurance brokerages in the world.
Lastly, in many businesses there will be temptations that you need to know how to avoid. There will be co-workers and higher managers unhappy, and litterally drowning their woes after work or at liquid lunches. If like I you would rather get home to your family, do NOT play along. Go home and the managers will respect you more! And you will be happier and more successful.
1)Believe in yourself.
2)Take on new challenges only where you feel you can do something well.
3)Take new responsibilities not expecting a raise, acceping them just to better yourself and your value to the employer.
4) Trust others and never allow cynicism to control you.
God will be proud of you and you will be proud of yourself! It will show in your sparkling eyes at work.
J-M
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Christa Barclay
12. Oct, 2010
I like how Saint John of the Cross observed that the Dark Night of the Soul experience is when God covers the soul and works in the spirit of a man. During these seasons of darkness, the faculties of the soul (cognitive, emotive, etc.) are limited, as is understanding of God’s intimate involvement in our lives.
With the hand of God over these faculties, we feel shut down and unable to handle the relational and work load we managed effortlessly in seasons past. This adds to the confusion — what has happened? how’d I get here? what did I do wrong? A tendency to become too introspective emerges, which if embraced, leads to despair and hopelessness. This is not God’s path for our lives. Placing hope in God and His delivering hand in our life is the only way to have peace in this season. He is who He says He is becomes a meditative theme.
It is through these dark seasons that we find ourselves because they purge the soul of impurities and of limiting beliefs about ourselves, others, and God. We come through these seasons understanding God’s grace more, that is, embracing the finished work of the cross. We are lighter and more confident in God, not ourselves. The dark night is a necessary aspect of spiritual wellness for sure.
A link to St. John’s Dark Night of the Soul:
http://www.ccel.org/ccel/john_cross/dark_night.toc.html
Mal
12. Oct, 2010
A good word, Angie! How ill prepared many are as they face the challenges of next step, next chapter of life. That is a great insight for all of us to understand.
Jan-Michael
12. Oct, 2010
Thank you Trey for allowing your letter to be the start of this blog and to Angie and Christa for links to The Critical Journey and Dark Night of the Soul, neither of which was I familiar.
As I, a ‘work in progress’, as perhaps are we all, the journey is long but the path is patient as I heard once.
With Him in our heart though, we cannot fail!
Surrendering our all to Him for it is all His and we, mere tools to tend His garden, we shall transcend all difficulties.
You will not need good luck, Trey and other graduates, just Love and His blessing whch is always with you.
J-M
Chaos Reeks of God by Janet Hagberg (Guest Post) | Spiritual Wellness
13. Oct, 2010
[...] my favorite fictional book, The Critical Journey. To know why it’s my favorite book, click here. You can win an autographed copy of The Critical Journey by leaving a comment on today’s guest [...]