Afraid to Love?

Posted on 01. Nov, 2011 by Angie Wyatt in Blog

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“Afraid to Love” Asks Angie:

Dear Angie,  I’m in a very healthy relationship that I think will work out.   Yet, I’m scared to let a man in and let him get close to me for fear that he will hurt me emotionally.  I don’t like caring about someone, because then I’m vulnerable.  I’m afraid to let my walls down, but I want to let them down.  I think this is the guy for me.  Help!!!!  Signed, Afraid to Love

Angie Answers:

Dear Afraid to Love,

I used to struggle with emotional intimacy as well.  In fact, I was 23 years old before I had my first romantic relationship.  Before then, I pushed every man away.  I wanted the relationship to end before I could be rejected and hurt.  I wasn’t able to truly love with abandon until I faced my fear of pain.

I prayerfully struggled with two really tough questions:  1)Is it worth it? Is love wonderful enough to risk only having it for a short time?  2)Do I trust God to heal my pain when I am hurt in love?

Pain is an inevitable part of any romantic relationship.  Sometimes the pain makes you closer, and sometimes it pulls you apart. I determined that the rewards of love are worth the risk of pain.  I also came to believe that God would heal me when the pain happened.

My first romantic relationship ended with a ton of heartbreak and tears.  However, God was faithful to heal my pain and help me love again.

Throughout life, we can trust that God will either: 1. Keep us from pain, or 2. Heal our pain.

By keeping men at a distance, you are not allowing God to do either of these for you.  Plus, you are causing self-inflicted pain by dismissing the joy of a romantic and emotional connection. When you find a trustworthy man, then opening your heart to love is worth the risk.

Keep in mind that relationships take practice.  If this isn’t the guy for you, that’s okay.  By opening your heart, you’re learning how to be vulnerable with a man, while ultimately trusting God with your heart.  If you hope to be married some day, then you will need to do that for the rest of your life.  Best to start practicing now.  Remember, when you get hurt, God will heal your pain.

Godspeed! Angie

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One Response to “Afraid to Love?”

  1. Swiss Rose

    01. Nov, 2011

    I think this lady has something in the past that made her afraid! – If she thinks that is the right man, she sould have the courage to speak with this guy. The man shows understanding and takes care of her feelings, it’s the right man, if the oposit happens it’s the wrong! – I was already in a similar situation, all because of the past, I can’t get rid of completely. I spoke about with the guy before we realy had a partnership, not much understanding at the end and I walked away without pains. – At the end I say, do we realy need a partnership to have a happy life???… – God is blessing you. – Rose

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