Spiritual Wellness

Have you seen the movie Precious? Precious is an African American teen who becomes impregnated with her father’s child.   She’s raped, assaulted, insulted and berated until her self-esteem is left in shambles.  Her heroine is Mrs. Rain, a teacher who is the first person to ever truly love Precious.

It’s one of the most graphic, heart-wrenching films I’ve ever seen. I rented it on DVD and had to watch it in three separate sittings.  I simply couldn’t take a full dose at once.  It’s not for the faint of heart.  That being said, the message is powerful, poignant and real.

Precious, like so many among us, is raised not knowing the meaning of true love. Because of the ways her parents treated her, she had a toxic view of love.   She loved herself as her family loved her.  She despised herself and she negated her potential.  Only when Mrs. Rain showed Precious a new kind of love did Precious begin to love herself differently.

God tells us to “love your (family) as yourself.”  Yet, we often get it backwards. Instead, we love ourselves as our family loves us.  It’s human nature.  Our parent’s nurture, attention and proximity is so impressionable to us as children.  For better or worse, as young children we can’t even cognitively separate our biological dad from Father God.

From infancy, we learn our self-love according the direct and indirect messages we receive from our family. If our parents abandon us, we feel insecure.  If our parents yell at us, we feel stupid.  Despite our best efforts to leave high school in the past, despite hours of psychotherapy, we still feel like foolish children when we’re with our parents.

With maturity, we learn that God is only like a good parent. And, thank God for good parents.  But, even if your family is not as toxic as Precious’ family (and it probably isn’t), the truth remains.   Even the best of families limit their love.  I know, it even sounds pessimistic to me, but it’s true.

No family, no matter how wonderful, can replace God. Only God can love us unconditionally and without error.   This is why it’s so important to hear God.  Only God can replace the toxic ways your family loved or continues to love you.

If you feel that your family loves you with limitations, ask God to reveal His love for you. When we receive God’s love, then we can begin to love ourselves unconditionally.   We see ourselves as God’s child.   With God’s love, you can love your family as yourself.

What is God saying to you about His love?

family, hearing God, love, Spiritual Wellness, toxic